Bliss and Torture.

An exciting and fun weekend. Feeling very much back to my old self after six months of black dog. The drugs do work.

So, why so much back to myself? Well, Saturday was the kind of day I used to have when I was single. There's a lovely sense of acheivement when you've got a great relationship ticking along (with the requisite work being put into it) but you're able to go off for a day and behave exacly as you would when most yourself.

I have a habit of over-involving myself in my relationships, and come out of them with that rather sad feeling of having mislaid an aspect of myself for the duration. With the fiance, I know it's for good - so I have no excuses, I have to do that extra work and negotiate time and space for solitude in the couple. And saturday was the first time I've successfully done that. Ever.

So, after a trip around soho, shopping (result - a Ukulele, a ukulele chord book, three books from Magma (good girl, only three...), a big handful of cheap CDs from Fopp and a Lomographic Super Sampler camera), some sushi, and a good half hour spent contemplating the idea of going to a gallery (I didn't - it was too far to walk in the heat by that stage) I felt recharged. And then had the lovely coincidence of ending up on the same bus as my beloved on the way home.

And then, to Torture Garden together in the evening. I know that I won't be believed if I tell you, dear readers, that it's actually all rather charming and innocent. But it is. I love the place for its friendliness, great music, and utterly fabulous costumes. Oh, and the opportunity to stare at people doing odd things to each other on St Andrews Crosses, of course. But, hey, I'm pretty mundane in most other aspects of my life - allow me a few pecadilloes.

Highlight of the evening - meeting a man called Viking - really, he was christened that - who had a beard, and liked Mead.

I wonder about writing up the odder fetish-scene aspects of my life here. For one, far too many PeopleFromTheOffice know the URL, and I have enough of a reputation

So, rather than explicit description, I'll leave you with the contents of an email newsletter inviting me to a summer garden party that arrived this morning. Please note that I find this as funny, pathetic and absurd as you will.


PROGRAMME
2pm Pool Bar Opens
Finger Buffet and snacks
Beers, wines, alcopops, Pimms and soft drinks served
Outdoor heated pool and places to sunbathe and socialise

4pm Fetish Olympics
6 Teams led by Mistresses and Masters will compete for Gold, Silver and
Bronze Medals. There will be one overall winning team
The Fetish Olympics will be video'd this year so please let us know if you
want to be a Movie Star or not. We are directing the filming and will be
managing the editing so will ensure that people who do not wish to be
included are not. There will be a set area for the filming so it is clear
where you can watch from if you don't wish to be in the video.

6.30pm BBQ
Tropical Rum Punch served as well as beers, wines, alcopops and soft drinks
9pm * 10.30pm * Midnight - Entertainment by The Fetish Crew

Other features:
Bouncy Castle * Dungeon Play Room * Trampling Frame
BDSM equipment by the lake, under the oak tree and on the lawn
Sexual Play Room * Massage * Dance Floor * Love Swings * Chill out areas

DJs - Baz, Simon, Irish Pete
Rude Food - Chocolate and Fruit Extravaganza

Three Things:

Finger Buffet, Bouncy Castle, Misplaced Apostrope.

Sigh.