Saturday, February 19, 2005
A Day Out
A jolly trip yesterday to the ICA to see a documentary about Bob Moog, father of the synthesizer. A lovely, well crafted documentary that made me happy. It was fascinating to hear him talk about 'feeling' circuitry on a spiritual/telepathic level. Whilst I felt that was a bit too... hippy for my tastes, I identified with his connection to his craft. Maybe it was his way of internalising and explaining the state of 'flow' you get with concentrated, expert work. I'm sure the language of his retired philosopher wife affected the way he talked about it. (For that matter, retired philosophers - what do they do? Sit in rocking chairs all day and not think?) Anyway, I'm planning on bringing the film to the attention of schedulers, as it was lovely and deserves a wider audience.
Then today, after signing up for a new lease, off to have lunch with old recently engaged friends. The last few days have definitely been about speaking and getting used to diplomatically breaking news of 'personal tragedy' to people. Having allowed two months to pass without letting people know about Sarah and my breakup, I'm finding it difficult to cope with their shock and sympathy; I've got through to the patient acceptance and slow healing phase, so all of the 'oh, you poor thing, however are you coping' gets a jokey response, that I imagine must seem defensive and evasive to the person offering support. I find myself protecting other's sensibilities more than my own, and can't decide if that's even vaguely healthy, or if it means I am in fact barking mad and should be in deep analysis for the rest of my life. Anyway, in their case it's probably just as well, as my engagement ceased at almost exactly the same time as theirs commenced: in years to come we'll look back and laugh about it, but for now there's a certain unspoken 'oops!' about things.
I hasten to add, I'm delighted for them. I'm just not doing a very good job of showing it.
Finally, I treated myself. I took myself off for an outing with my camera; something I've not done properly in several years. As it was on the way home I decided to go and bag some shots of old domestic appliances, as I'm thinking about picking up an old series of drawings and need source material. It didn't quite turn out that way - I got distracted by the history of computing gallery instead. That, however, is a post of its own.